Hey hey hey!

Hey hey hey! Remember me?

Its been a year, but im back! haha! Well alot has happened. Still no news from Trainwreck, but who cares? We dont even talk about her anymore. Waste of time.

Lets see...maybe an update of all our old buddies?

The Roomate- Still as messy as ever. And we have a cat. His name is Oscar. I hate him most of the time. He ran away today. It was glorious. But The Roommate found him. Sad. :(

The Wife- No longer on the way to becoming someone's wife. Her boyfriend broke up with her precisely because he wasnt going to marry her. Ouch. What a name a gave her over a year ago? Spooky? I think so.

Peaches- Has been solid. We drank all afternoon on Friday. It was sweet. I spent $5 on two mararitas and free chips and salsa. Solid afternoon. We also had a sweet time in Germany this summer...with..da da da...new character alert....L-Ville.  L-Ville, Peaches, and myself owned germany. A longer story will come later about that trip.

Leopard -and I are still dating. We celebrated our three year anniversary this weekend, and the actual one is tomorrow (2/11). 

Chi-Town- Havent seen much of her, not even sure I wrote about her in the past. Anyway, im hoping to go see her in Chicago in the near future. 

The Sister- she's good. Still hasnt gotten a license.

I think I have posts I never posted with certain characters in it...hmmm...

Anyway. Not a whole lot is new. School is going......to kill me it seems. But, that is all for now. I said good day. 

The Computer Lab

So here I sit. In our campuses newly renovated center. And let me tell you something. It is wasting my money. There was nothing wrong with the old one. And now, we have to pay an arm and a leg to eat here. They have a Starucks type of coffee place here, and believe it or not, its MORE money, and its worse. I didnt think that was possible. Thanks, Dickheads, for listening to what we the students wanted.

You would also think that they could splurge for some new computers. Im on a decent mac, but everytime I go to punch certain keys, they stick. Like the 'i' key. Everytime I punch that key I have to take the time to think about it and punch it extra hard. And in that sentence alone, I used 'i' 6 times. God Damn.

So winter pretty much sucks. I had a small victory though as a result of this dumping of snow that has fallen upon us--Trainwreck ditched her car. And, when she ditched it, the snow wasnt even that bad. Hilarious.

Thursday night shall be fun, I plan on inviting a few bitches over.

The roommate is REALLY getting to me. I understand that I use the majority of the dishes, so before I left on Friday, I made DAMN SURE to run the dishwasher. So, on my way back to school from a weekend at home, I allready knew what to expect. I come back into my apartment, and there it is. The smell. She made squash, and couldnt have unloaded the dishwasher. Oh no. Instead the dishes were piled sky-high and the kitchen stunk soo bad. That, and she drank two of my beers. She has drank more alcohol of mine then I have. Leopard said I have to lay down the law. Anyway. So, okay, if she didnt want to unload the dishwasher, fine. BUT she could have used the clean dishes from the dishwasher instead of getting even more out and causing even more work for me. There was a pizza box laying around which smelled. I know I dont take the garbage out that often and that starts to smell. But not like these dishes. And then, last night she comes into my room and says "I put baking soda in the fridge. Something in there really smells." Well no shit. And, guess what, its NOT the fridge. Its the fucking sink filled with your dirty dishes. Look, im anal retentive. I need my stuff clean. I clean my room 2x a week. Our living room is filthy. She leaves mail around, dishes, and this morning, a bag of eaten hershey kisses with all those fucking pink shiny wrappers everywhere. I dont know what to do about this. I come into the apartment and go right into my room because I hate the living room. And then she follows me in to my room and I dont have the heart to say any of this. But I think I need to grow a pair and say something. Enough is enough. FUCK DO I HATE THIS KEYBOARD. I have had to deal with a messy apartment for a while. I know im not perfect. Leopard smells and sweats and my room starts to smell.....but I try to wash my sheets every two weeks or so. Her room is covered with dirty clothes and crap everywhere. If she wants to have a messy room, then fine. But I cant live with a messy apartment.

Suu Johansson was great. I got some great pictures and videos. She was exactly as I imagined--short with a big butt and wore mom pants. But I expected that out of her...she is like 75 years old. I want to be like her when I am older.

Calling into School.

Skynard sent me a slew of text messages this morning. "Please call me into school" "Come on, I need you to call me in or I am in big trouble" "Im ditching school, and if you dont call me in they will call my parents". Ahh. To no longer be in high school. I dont know what I would have done had I not been in class until 2 pm today. I didnt know she was in dire need of my help this morning. In anysense, I dont know what I would do. I allready buy the kid cigs on a routine basis, and now I really cant be expected to just call in for her when I live 300 miles away. The kid isnt even my sister! Its my cousin! I would probably do it in a pinch for my sister, but calling in for Skynard is a push.

Anyway. So. The visit home went surprisingly well. The drive to and from however, were far from wonderful. On the way home, it was snowing/raining and Leopard drives way to fucking close to the drived in front of him. I was hitting the imaginary break and holding onto the fake jesus bar the whole way home. My aunts dinner was really nice, it was at this kooky western themed restaurant where they pretty much serve you a whole cow, the steaks are that huge. I swear I heard one moo down the table. Thats how I like my meat. Big and mooing.

I should be studying for my organic chemistry exam tomorrow but fuck it...ill do it later. I should also be fixing my organic chem journaly, but lets fuck that as well.

I did the most terrible thing and now im waiting to be punished. See, two months ago The Roomate and Peaches and I made plans to see the sex therapist Sue Johnanson. Well, until this morning it didnt dawn on me that my exam for tomorrow night coincides with my huge o-chem exam. This morning I went to my prof's office and told her my mom was coming to visit and go to dinner with me. I hate lying. If there is one thing I cant do, its lie. I cant lie very well, and I think that is a good thing. I think that is partially also the reason why I make for a good bitch. I just shed the light on peoples misgivings. I have them, and so do you. I also point them out and dont lie about them. Anyway. It felt terrible to lie, but that feeling of guilt luckily reminded me that, hey, I still do have a conscience.

I am kinda mad a leopard. Our anniversary was terrible. He didnt try very hard. What a slacker of a boyfriend. I love him, but the kid has to try a little harder. He is the laziest person I know.


For some reason, I think The Wife is mad at me. Remember that night when I wrote of The Roomate swalling the man juice? Well she was supposed to come over that night and hang with us, and I got chumped out for Trainwreck. Great. Grand. Spectacular. Well, I have called The Wife and not gotten any phone calls or text messages back. She owes me lunch, so hopefully we go out to lunch either tomorrow or thursday. I dont know why I am getting chumped out for trainwreck, as The Wife had been speaking most distainfully of her. I understand about having to be amicable as they live together, but all of the sudden getting chumped out for the girl who has hardly talked to her lately? Puh-lease. Im worth more then that. I love when bitches make the wrong decisions out of pity or boredom.

I need to find a job so I can go to Germany. I need to fill out my Fafsa sheet this weekend, and do my taxes. Im praying that I get the 1,000 scholarship. My life would be made. No, I lied. My year would be made, but after that I would probably forget it a little bit from now (I'm...just being honest). If I get a scholarship, on top of the $500 I will get from my mom instead of vegas, and with my taxes, and working spring break, I should only have to take out like 1,500. I know to a lot of college kids, and to a lot of kids who live where I do, that is a ton of money. 1500 really isnt that bad. Maybe it is to poor people. Im a poor college kid, but in real life terms, 1500 isnt that bad for a life experience. I know im biased. Kiss my ass.


Good grief I am getting mad at my roommate. I know that I made a mess in the kitchen yesterday when I made a cake, but I do not remember the last time she unloaded the dishwasher or cleaned the stove. And I really cant stand the way she judges what we eat. The other night Leopard and I made pasta. And maybe leopard put too many noodles in and we threw a good deal of them away. So, last night we made this really nasty hamburger helper (cheesy hamburger). I dont recommend it. The two of us hardly at any and threw it away. So, the roomate saw and goes, "You guys waste soo much food". Yea, I threw away plain noodles and nasty hamburger. I also throw away the ends off of a loaf of bread..I hate those pieces. Im just sick of it. I dont tell her that she is lazy or that when she has her bedroom door open it makes the hallway in the apartment smell because her room smells as a result of her not washing her sheets do I? I didnt think so.

I cant wait for Sue tomorrow. Bitches be crazy!

Germany

Not too much new is going on, I am still trying to figure out how to make money magically appear. Once I figure that out, I shall be on my way to Germany. Besides being poor poor poor, I have to start packing. Leopard and I are going home to visit this weekend. This is only his second time in our almost three years of dating of going home with me. This shall be interesting. Last time we went home, Saggy and Bear weren't there. Its my aunts birthday...so this weekend is going to be a full-on family affair, which I am sure will somehow make me mad. So expect a good, ranting, cynical post on Sunday night!

Childish

I really did not think it was possible for a 50 year old woman to act so childish. I went home this weekend to see Saggy and Bear. Upon asking said parents if I could go to Germany for three weeks, I received two reactions. The first of which was Saggy going apeshit and ruining the rest of my weekend. She then told me to go ask Bear what he thought of it. So I did, and he listened to everything I had to say, and instead of just flipping the fuck out, he told me he would have to think about it. Everytime I saw Saggy and Bear wasnt around, she was a fucking nut. She was yelling at me, telling me I am wasting 3,000. She pretty much told me if I am able to take out loans for this trip that I can pretty much take care of myself from here on out. I have to make a pretty big decision--I will be severly in debt if I go on this trip. Not the three grand--the 22,000 that I have left to pay while going to school here. Mind you, I have to pay for an apartment, food, and insurance on top of all of that. I really think I am going to go for it. At sometime or another I have to take control of my own life. Fuck Saggy. I need to do this for myself.

So all in all it was a horrible weekend. The boy created enough rage and hatred in me that I dont want to see him for a week or so. Why are boys idiots? Whatever. Fuck him.

I wish I was more amusing. This weekend really brought morale down. I hope to be back to normal tomorrow.

You "cum"plete me.

So we're sitting around drinking. At this present moment, actually. And I have to need to create this post. The three of us have been sitting here, Myself, The Roomate, and Peaches. And of course, when bitches be drinking, the subject normally turns to sex.

So we go around telling each other intimate details. And then The Roomate lets it slip. She told Peaches and myself that she has never let her boyfriend cum in her mouth.

Beep beep beep. Back the truck up. She has never, in two years, let her boyfriend cum in her mouth. Forget having this girl swallow your load. She hasnt even let jizz enter her sacred orifice. This is simply unacceptable. Poor B-2. I feel bad for him. I like the guy, really, I do. I had no idea The Roomate didnt let this happen.

Needless to say, both Peaches and I used our trickery and told her she needed to swallow. She promised she would try.

Men should bow down and thank me sometimes.

The Shit Storm of the Century

Some people seriously cant take a joke. The roomate and I have has this inside joke going back and forth for some time making fun of Trainwreck and her picture whoring ways. This morning, I wake up and The Roomate said that the trainwreck had spelled something wrong on her aim away message. Being the incessant bitches we are, the roomates decides to display the trainwrecks shortcomings. Ha ha, a few people got what we were going for. Other people had no idea. That's not the joke here.

Actually the joke didnt happen yet, but thats neither here not there...yet. So, today I come back from class and peacefully sign on to facebook. I went to check the trainwreckes picture count. Only when I did, I see that I have been blocked by her on facebook. Sweet. That really doesnt impose a problem, I know plenty of people who can give me the number. The roommate and I put weekly bets on when we think the number will break 2,000. The closet one do the date of it happening wins. So far neither one of us has won. But it will happen. Im not sure if The Trainwreck has deleted The Roomate from facebook and AIM, I guess we will have to see later when The Roomate gets home.

But for as far as the joke goes, this one hopefully will be for the record books. One day when Trainwreck is out of the apartment (I am good friends with Trainwrecks roomate, The Wife), I plan on leaving her an upper-decker. For those of you who are un-aware of what an upper-decker is, I will explain. An upper-decker is when you drop a deuce into the top tank portion of someones toilet. The next time they flush, they will have brown, sloppy, chunky pieces of your shit swimming around in their toilet. The beauty of this timeless prank is that Trainwreck is such a clueless waste of life, that she will have no idea what happened, how to fix it, or what to even do. If I had to put money on it, I would guess she will just think the toilet is backing up. Glorious.

The next part to my plan is freezing her car doors shut. That is simply, quick, and highly effective at this time of year. Tonight when we have our harsh winter conditions displayed once again, I plan on going outside with my bathroom garbage can full of water and slowly dumping it all over her car. Classic.

Some of you are probably thinking that I have a vendetta out there for this girl and that she probably doesnt warrant it. If that is you, fuck off and take a joke. Someone needs to teach this girl a lesson. Or at the very least, ruin her day.