Pimp me hard

So I came here wanting somewhere to share my thoughts with the world. At the very least, I want to chronicle them for myself so I can come back and laugh at them. My life is amazing, and I would hope you think so too. I want this to be as anonymous as possible, so for sake of protecting myself and others around me that I actually care about, every name and place will be re-named. I want no one around me to be held accountable for my childish actions in any way, shape or form. With that said, we will commence.

I wish when I was picking out colleges, you had someone there telling you the pros AND the cons. Not just pimping out the pros to their school. We have this, we have that. What they NEGLECT to tell you is the amount of ho-bags that attend their university. They try to keep that underwraps. If I was a guy, I would be PISSED. First of all, while these girls maybe fun to make out with at a gnarly house party, when you take them home, rip off their warm apple pie shooter-stained clothes, discard that sexy pair of underwear they put on just in case this exact scenario actually panned out, you slowly start to see the hidden trainwreck.

Now, you may be asking me, how exactly does one hide a trainwreck? If you are someone with the above-average level of intelligence (which I assume you are if you're still reading this) you realize that you CAN'T hide all the carnage that a trainwreck embodies. A real trainwreck sometimes doesnt seem that bad from the outside. Maybe some body damage, maybe a traincar is missing. The point here is that the rescue workers really dont know the entire extent of the damage until they use those jaws of life and get a good look inside.

I can bet, at least one time in a trainwreck recoverers job, they wanted to just turn around after seeing such carnage. I'm also sure there are AT LEAST a handful of guys out there who felt the same way after taking a girl home. I feel sorry for these men, really, I do. I wish there was a way to warn you. But as it stands, there isn't. Your best bet is to become great friends with a girl you would never want to fuck, and take her out with you. This is good for a few things. First of all, you get ho-bag feedback right away. Your gal pal can tell you which girl might not fuck you over, either with a pregnancy, std, or just a case of the crazies. Second of all, guys, when you are with a girl, your value immediatly goes up.

Say you dont want to have to put in the time and effort it takes to become friends with a girl. Hey, it happens. Well, unless you have the facsimilie to a womens "gaydar" and have your own version of "whoredar" you are S.O.L., and very likely headed into a trainwreck op at least one time in your life.

While some men can walk into a trainwreck and change lives, the likelyhood of you running into a trainwreck and coming out unscathed is unlikely. Especially if you go to school where I go to.

Let me clear this up. Im not one of those girls. I am not a trainwreck. I know far too many to allow myself to get sucked up into that lifestyle. However, I have had quite a few close relationships with girls just like this and feel the need to exploit them. Namely a trainwreck of a girl that I will from here-on out refer to simply as "Trainwreck".

Trainwreck fits the description. Incase you are lucky enough to never have run into this girl, let me lay it out for you.
This girl has died her hair more times a year then a responsible man gets an oil change.
All of her clothes and underwear are name brand. This isnt a bad thing, this just indicates she is either a money grubbing whore, or a lable whore. You pick.
She has close to 2000 pictures up on her facebook (which are essentially the same pose, only it looks like she just photoshopped outfits), and would also have that many up on myspace if she really had the patience to do so (or if myspace allowed.)
She goes out to the bars at least 3 nights a week. This SHOULD be a RED FLAG. I REPEAT, RED FLAG. Why would a girl be out that many times? What is wrong with her? Why does she have to keep coming back out so often?
At 22 years old, she should potentially be graduating soon, seeing as she never took time off after high school. Only this isnt the case.
She cant pay her bills on time, albeit she didnt pay her bills for 4 months.
She is 10,000 is debt and STILL goes shopping and enjoys boozin' it up, and then she wonders why she is doing poorly at school.
She has had 3, COUNT THEM, 3 sexually transmitted diseases.
She needs a fugly skank friend to fight her battles.
She constantly says "oh, I need to stop drinking"
She constantly needs a drink to stop being stressed.
The back of her legs are pock-marked. This looks similar to a tub of cottage cheese.
She made out with 14 guys in the period of 2 and a half hours.


Now, you understand, those are just some of the defining characteristics. There are more. But, as you see, those characteristics are easily hidden. They dont always show up. Especially if you got yourself into one of those late night, "I've had a few" types of binds. Makehup often hides the bags under her eyes and maybe even diminishes that snagle-tooth. But eventually you catch onto the trainwreck hiding inside those $80 Abercrombie destroyed denim jeans. Hopefully you'll be able to walk away from the carnage an unchanged man.

If you ever come across Trainwreck herself, I know you wont.